Timo Kinnunen
Särkiniementie 16 A 41
70700 Kuopio
Finland
+358 (0)17 2613618

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Akka ja skunkki – How an old woman got a shot from a striped skunk


Suomessa skunkki (striped skunk) on kyllä niin harvinainen eläin, ettei sitä ole elänyt tällä kotosuomessa ollenkaan - jos sitten silloinkaan. Se elää vain sellaisissa maissa, joissa ihmiset haisevat muutoinkin luontojaan pahalle, tai sotkeutuvat vain muutoin myrkkysumakkeihinsa ja irakinsotiinsa. Kuitenkin: muutama vuosi sitten puhuttiin, että muuan mies oli ihan oikeasti nähnyt Itä-Suomessa elävän leijonan, jota ei kuitenkaan tavattu - rankoista etsinnöistä huolimatta, ja ehkä juuri niiden vuoksi. Mutta vaaleanpunaisia elefanttejahan näkee aika ajoin noin puolet suomalaisista (lähinnä juopoista) miehistä, ja siksi he ovatkin erityisen eteviä suoltamaan vaaleanpunaisia valheita. Nyt kun viinakin halpenee, lisääntyy myös näiden havaintojen määrä. No, joka tapauksessa 1800-luvulla Suomessa oli ainakin yksi skunkki, eli haisunäätä, joka oli erään laukkuryssän lemmikki, mutta karkasi tämän pussista kotimatkalla, eikä ryssä löytänyt millään rakasta skunkkiaan. Sattui, että kun muuan mummo oli juuri aikeissa avata veräjää, niin silloin skunkki lasautti mummoa päin näköä niin että heilahti. Mummo horjui veräjästä kiinni pidellen puolisokeana, ja otaksui nähneensä kissan, kun häneltä asiaa kysyttiin, ja että paha haisu tuli nimenomaan kirjavasta kissasta. Talossa kuitenkin ajateltiin mummon käyneen matoja etsimässä navetantakuisesta tunkiosta, ja suistuneen joskakin syystä tunkion uumeniin - koska mummo haisi niin vahvasti. Myöhemmin, kun taloon saapui oikea taulumaalari, hänelle kerrottiin hauskana kaskuna kuinka mummo oli matoja hakemassa, ja kaatui tunkioon, ja luuli nähnensä veräjällä kissan, vaikkei siellä mitään kissaa ollutkaan. Maalari maalasikin myöhemmin kuulun taulunsa mummosta ja kissasta, mutta sehän nyt ei ole autenttinen ollenkaan, kuten me paremmin tiedämme.

Striped Skunk does not actually exist in Finland, and they have never been massively imported to Finland to accomplish Finnish Fauna, or to enrich our large population of pets - not even by accident. We have still a fresh air, and we have still our large, fresh forests, and there is definitely no place for Striped Skunk, as it has always been in America, where they have destroyed most of their deep forests, and because of the smell from their factories, Striped Skunk shall preserve its status there also in future. But why is is not wanted quest in Finland? Partly just because of its strong smell ... but mostly because it is too much AMERICAN - with all its stripes, and with its smell from The Wild NEW-West, and because of its willingness to attack to everybody with its boom-boom gas. Nowadays we know quite well what kind of animal Striped Skunk actually is, from literature, and from cartoons, too. One could say that there is no place to Striped Skunk in Finnish Fauna, as I have been said just before, and it has no ecological or olfactorial place either - to say it as clearly as possible. Just think about its odd smile before boom-booming, and its small talk with its swinging tail. So American, so deeply American, indeed... There are no lions in Finland, either, and despite of that fact one man claimed to have seen the one in Eastern Finland few years ago, and they found some footprints, too. Hence, there is a little change, at least, that there could be existed Striped Skunk, too, in some historical moment, and just by accident. Anyway, this is a story of an old woman, who lived in the countryside, during those old, and forever lost days, in that part of Eastern Finland. Nowadays large parts of Eastern Finland happens to be in Russian side - pehaps just because Americans gave so much weapons, and other kind of support to Soviet Union during The Second World War - to their dear friends, as you know. But it didn't help them much, and the calm truth revealed to Soviet people and especially to litle jOSEPH sTALIN during the battles in Tali-Ihantala, and in the forests of East-Carelia near the end of war; they never succeeded to conquer Finland, and they newer will. But Americans didn't learn anything of that (or of anything): they are still close frieds with Russian people, with their dear soul-mates, one could say -- and just because of their oil. But back to the story. That old woman in picture was just returning home, after taking care of cows in the fields. Just when she was opening a gate, a Striped Skunk gave its olfactorically powerful welcome-shot, and as a consequence of that, the old woman became almost blind for a moment, or for two, or for a while, at least. But from where that skunk became to that farmyard? It is an interesting question. Originally the Skunk in question was owned by a travelling man who was selling all kinds of useless things, and he had bought it from an American captain of a ship who happened to like especially Striped Skunks. He wanted to sell one of them to that funny travelling man, just for a joke. After the shot that poor old woman went to house, smelling bad, really bad, and she told to people sitting there that she saw a cat in the farmyard, just when she was opening the gate. The cat in question smelled extraordinay bad. Her listeners didn't believe the cat-version of her story but they thought that the old woman was fallen to a dunghill, and that it was the primary source of that aful smell. Then some weeks later, a wandering poor painter became to their house, and they told to him about that cat, and about that old woman, and about that dunghill story. The painter listened them thoughtfully, but didn't believe that to dunhill version, or to smelling cats. Later he painted one of his most famous works in which there was an old woman, and a cat. Nobody could even think that is was Striped Skunk whom that old woman saw in the farmyard. But we know better - it was just Striped Skunk, and nothing else.